1 00:00:00,091 --> 00:00:03,447 I defeated Guy Young. He's a racist. 2 00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:04,904 It's far from ***. 3 00:00:06,681 --> 00:00:09,645 I'll spend every penny I have to win this divorce, you hear me? 4 00:00:09,765 --> 00:00:12,306 This Christmas show is gonna be spectacular! 5 00:00:12,426 --> 00:00:16,992 Woo-hoo! Thank you, Santa Claus! 6 00:00:17,748 --> 00:00:19,562 *** is missing. 7 00:00:19,682 --> 00:00:23,009 *** 8 00:00:23,129 --> 00:00:26,123 This is stupid! 9 00:00:26,514 --> 00:00:29,991 Look who it is! 10 00:00:30,368 --> 00:00:35,307 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 11 00:00:35,427 --> 00:00:40,665 [bell dings] 12 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:44,149 - May I help you, sir? - Lonely are the insomniacs. 13 00:00:44,269 --> 00:00:45,736 - Mm. - Mm. 14 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,504 I've been tossing and turning in my sleep 15 00:00:47,605 --> 00:00:50,006 and this blanket is very, very itchy. 16 00:00:50,108 --> 00:00:51,674 Could you please take it away? 17 00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:52,975 If that's not too much trouble. 18 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:55,445 - Of course. - Thank you. 19 00:00:55,546 --> 00:00:57,614 - Oh! - Oh. 20 00:00:57,715 --> 00:01:00,183 A stow away. He's a big boy, 21 00:01:00,284 --> 00:01:02,619 I probably should have bought him another seat. 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,921 - Maybe I should call the pilot. - Well, I don't think he wants to meet him. 23 00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,924 Hm? You know, I've noticed that you haven't asked me 24 00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,792 to put him back in his crib. 25 00:01:10,893 --> 00:01:13,295 - What are you doing? - I'm writing down my number. 26 00:01:13,396 --> 00:01:15,397 Don't bother. I am not going to call you. 27 00:01:15,499 --> 00:01:17,466 No, no, no. This is my bank balance. 28 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:21,669 And now you've seen my two biggest assets. 29 00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:24,472 If you don't mind, I'd like you to go to the bathroom 30 00:01:24,573 --> 00:01:26,241 and get yourself prepared. 31 00:01:26,342 --> 00:01:27,975 If that's fine with you. 32 00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:30,169 Thank you again for being so helpful. 33 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 34 00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:43,624 You can open your eyes now. 35 00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:45,659 You saw that, right? 36 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,556 That's how you do it. 37 00:01:49,664 --> 00:01:52,131 I'll be four and a half minutes. 38 00:01:58,838 --> 00:02:02,074 Order in the court. I object to this divorce. 39 00:02:02,176 --> 00:02:04,477 Lawyers, you've done a magnificent job 40 00:02:04,578 --> 00:02:06,779 of helping me butt-fuck my wife in this settlement. 41 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,680 But your services are no longer needed. 42 00:02:08,781 --> 00:02:10,182 Effective immediately, you're all fired. 43 00:02:10,283 --> 00:02:12,717 - What did you call us in here for? - Overruled! 44 00:02:12,818 --> 00:02:15,220 Get the fuck out of here, goddamn it. Now! 45 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:18,022 Get those motherfucking attach?s out of here. 46 00:02:18,123 --> 00:02:21,926 There's a special place in hell for guys like you. 47 00:02:22,027 --> 00:02:23,960 April, I lost my way. 48 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,597 I spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering where I went wrong. 49 00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:29,266 But a great change has occurred. 50 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:32,203 - I love my family now. - Now is not the time 51 00:02:32,304 --> 00:02:34,071 to have this discussion, Kenny. 52 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:36,973 - It's too late. - It's only too late if we sign those documents. 53 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:40,910 - Don't engage, April. - You shut your mouth, you white honkey! 54 00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:42,345 C'est, c'est mon. 55 00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:45,014 April, I've grown a lot as a man since the holidays. 56 00:02:45,115 --> 00:02:48,918 Now all I ask of you is to think about this decision. 57 00:02:49,019 --> 00:02:51,688 Search your feelings. If a week from now 58 00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:53,989 your heart tells you this is the right move... 59 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,058 ...then I'll gladly sign those papers. 60 00:02:57,159 --> 00:02:58,694 We can wait a week. 61 00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:00,295 Right? 62 00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:01,396 [exhales] 63 00:03:01,497 --> 00:03:05,500 You made a wise decision here today. 64 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:10,539 Let the thinking and contemplating begin now. 65 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,773 [chatter] 66 00:03:12,874 --> 00:03:15,876 Everyone Crew people. Laborers. 67 00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:18,279 Migrant workers. Please, gather 'round. Everyone. 68 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:20,648 I know a lot of you guys are very upset with me 69 00:03:20,749 --> 00:03:23,384 for my behavior on the Christmas Special. 70 00:03:23,485 --> 00:03:26,320 I want to prove to you guys that I am willing to turn over a new leaf. 71 00:03:26,421 --> 00:03:28,488 I'm gonna make a sacrifice right now. 72 00:03:28,589 --> 00:03:32,692 Billy, Trent. Please step-eth forward to-eth me. Thank you. 73 00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:36,062 Please remove your black Wilson leather jackets and place them upon the floor. 74 00:03:36,163 --> 00:03:39,599 Do you all behold this? These are my muscles. 75 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,935 And look at them now. Just cheap black T-shirts. 76 00:03:43,036 --> 00:03:45,571 You're fired. Get the fuck outta here. 77 00:03:45,672 --> 00:03:47,906 True change. We're all capable of it. 78 00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:49,647 Let's fucking get this show back on track! 79 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:51,577 - Let's... - Mr. Powers. 80 00:03:51,678 --> 00:03:53,746 Mr. Powers. Sorry to interrupt, but, 81 00:03:53,846 --> 00:03:57,115 before you apologize, perhaps you'd like to hear what we have to say. 82 00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:58,850 Uh, I'm trying to bond with my crew right now. 83 00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,351 So... maybe this can wait, suit. 84 00:04:00,452 --> 00:04:02,887 My name is Ronny Thelman. 85 00:04:02,988 --> 00:04:06,023 And this here is my friend's son, Jerome. 86 00:04:06,124 --> 00:04:09,093 I'm sorry, why do I care about your family tree-slash-life story? 87 00:04:09,194 --> 00:04:12,163 Well, you see, I'm head of the network and therefore your boss. 88 00:04:12,264 --> 00:04:16,065 Oh! My bad. Very fascinating story. Please continue, I'm sorry. 89 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,768 - Come here, Mr. Powers. - OK. Yeah. 90 00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:19,503 [Ronny] Come on. 91 00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:22,739 Kenny, I think you're great. 92 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,008 I saw your Christmas Special and I thought it was 93 00:04:25,109 --> 00:04:27,010 the most fantastic bit of television I've ever seen. 94 00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:29,346 The fact that it was Christmas and yet you was behaving 95 00:04:29,447 --> 00:04:31,181 in the most selfish manner was... 96 00:04:31,282 --> 00:04:33,549 it was a breath of fresh air. 97 00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:35,083 I wanna renew your contract. 98 00:04:35,185 --> 00:04:36,852 I wanna offer you a new show. 99 00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:39,488 - Your own show. - Are you serious? 100 00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:42,391 Yeah. I want you to be the next Ellen DeGeneres. 101 00:04:42,492 --> 00:04:44,927 Well... she's pretty dope. But she's a lesbian. 102 00:04:45,028 --> 00:04:46,595 I know she's a lesbian. I was in the meeting 103 00:04:46,697 --> 00:04:47,696 when we decided she should be one. 104 00:04:47,797 --> 00:04:49,597 And I was in the meeting when we decided 105 00:04:49,699 --> 00:04:51,179 that Ryan Seacrest should be straight. 106 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:53,401 - That was a good call. - You know what? 107 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,603 I think for your first show I've got the idea. 108 00:04:55,705 --> 00:04:58,707 It's gonna be a world exclusive interview of Guy Young. 109 00:04:58,808 --> 00:05:00,842 First time since his fall from grace. 110 00:05:00,943 --> 00:05:03,277 Get him on the couch. Get him to apologize. 111 00:05:03,378 --> 00:05:06,079 You know, maybe shed some tears. You know, really open up. 112 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,482 Well, I mean, that sounds like a great idea in theory 113 00:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,617 but Guy Young and myself are not really friends. 114 00:05:10,719 --> 00:05:12,419 I mean, he's a mess. I destroyed the man's life. 115 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,321 I know you did. I mean, the thing is, 116 00:05:14,422 --> 00:05:16,189 you know, you either want the show or you don't. 117 00:05:16,290 --> 00:05:18,225 No, no, no. You want Guy Young? 118 00:05:18,326 --> 00:05:20,626 - I'll get you Guy Young. - Fantastic. 119 00:05:20,728 --> 00:05:22,495 Jerome, you look tired. 120 00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:24,096 Do you want a break? 121 00:05:24,197 --> 00:05:27,933 Uh, any of you girls any good with children? 122 00:05:28,034 --> 00:05:29,769 Great. This is Jerome. He's 13 years old. 123 00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:33,339 Do you mind taking him into the other room and thucking his willy off? 124 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,140 - [Stevie] Kenny. - [Maria] Kenny. 125 00:05:35,242 --> 00:05:37,175 - [Kenny] There he is. - Kenny's here. 126 00:05:37,276 --> 00:05:38,643 Looking good, champ. 127 00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:41,012 You think I look good. Oh. 128 00:05:41,113 --> 00:05:44,983 Look at all the little worker bees tending to their queen. 129 00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:47,386 That's good little muchachos, helping your father. 130 00:05:47,487 --> 00:05:52,189 I tell you, trying to kill myself was the best thing I ever did. 131 00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:54,024 - It's pretty awesome. - OK. Good. 132 00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:57,094 What a nice family. Thank you guys. 133 00:05:57,195 --> 00:05:59,830 Look at us, man. Two dudes on the mend, huh? 134 00:05:59,931 --> 00:06:02,933 With this new television show we're gonna be more famous than Oprah Winfrey. 135 00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:06,303 Speaking of, [sing song] I read your screenplay. 136 00:06:06,405 --> 00:06:08,671 Finally, motherfucker. Jesus Christ. 137 00:06:08,773 --> 00:06:09,972 I've been sitting here on goddamn pins and needles. 138 00:06:10,073 --> 00:06:11,340 What'd you think? You love it? 139 00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:14,544 Uhh... It was good. It was... 140 00:06:14,645 --> 00:06:16,579 - I like the... - [Kenny] Hmm? 141 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,449 - The stage directions. - The stage directions? 142 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:23,419 Uh, it's always very clear who was talking to each other. 143 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,387 Dude, what about the story, dude? Did it connect for you? 144 00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,355 Kenny, it's all voice over. 145 00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:29,357 Show, don't tell. That's the golden rule. 146 00:06:29,459 --> 00:06:32,180 Jesus Christ. Dude, I think that gunshot wound gave you down syndrome. 147 00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:33,962 - [laughs] - You need to work on your communication skills 148 00:06:34,063 --> 00:06:35,731 - with auteurs, OK? - But the ending, 149 00:06:35,832 --> 00:06:37,999 - it coulda been so much stronger... - Goddamn. 150 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,468 You injure your fucking jaw and suddenly you're Roger Ebert. 151 00:06:40,569 --> 00:06:43,237 I'm more Gene Siskel. Ra-ra-ra. 152 00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:45,139 - [laughs] - I'll let this pass, brother, 153 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,074 because you are a little loopy from the pain medicine. 154 00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:48,876 Hey, you want some Vicodin? 155 00:06:48,977 --> 00:06:51,746 - Yeah, sure. I'll take one. - Kenny Jr., 156 00:06:51,847 --> 00:06:53,414 bring Daddy them pills. 157 00:06:53,515 --> 00:07:00,019 [soft rock playing] 158 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,758 [music stops] 159 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,860 - [knocks on door] - Guy? 160 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:09,496 [Guy, faint] Thank you so much. 161 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:14,433 - Guy? Guy? - I love you. Guy Young loves you. 162 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,768 [Guy] Thank you. 163 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,471 - Thank you. [laughs] - [audience cheering] 164 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,773 Welcome back to another session of The Sesh. 165 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:24,510 I'm Guy Young and man, we got a great show. Thank you. 166 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,913 - Thank you. [laughs] - Geyser. 167 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:30,014 What's up, Old Faithful? 168 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:32,650 - What's going on here? - Well-- 169 00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:35,419 If it isn't the great TV star, Kenny Powers. 170 00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,689 I come in peace, Guy. I bring good news. 171 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,991 Oh yeah? Well, unless that good news 172 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:43,594 is you have testicular cancer, I don't give a rat's ass. 173 00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:46,296 I don't have cancer in my balls, Guy. 174 00:07:46,397 --> 00:07:48,866 But I do have a brand new television show. 175 00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,969 Oh, goddamn it. What are you trying to do to me, Kenny, huh? 176 00:07:52,069 --> 00:07:53,436 You just trying to twist the knife in my back? 177 00:07:53,538 --> 00:07:56,507 I never wanted you to end up this way, Guy. 178 00:07:56,608 --> 00:07:59,309 This competition got the best of both of us. 179 00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:01,677 And I want to take responsibility for my actions. 180 00:08:01,778 --> 00:08:03,379 No. 181 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,247 It's not that easy. 182 00:08:05,348 --> 00:08:07,149 I've lost everything. I lost my show. 183 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:10,987 I lost my food chains. I lost... my AIDS charity. 184 00:08:11,087 --> 00:08:14,089 - Nobody wants me anymore. - [audience noise continues] 185 00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:16,525 I don't think I can help you get AIDS back, Guy. 186 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,227 But I can offer you a chance at redemption. 187 00:08:19,328 --> 00:08:22,831 I'd like to grant to you an interview as the very first guest 188 00:08:22,932 --> 00:08:25,834 on the first episode of my brand new show. 189 00:08:25,935 --> 00:08:28,169 You can apologize to the masses. 190 00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:30,539 You can begin the difficult task 191 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,640 of rebuilding your brand. 192 00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:34,174 No. 193 00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:38,846 I shit on your kind gesture. 194 00:08:38,947 --> 00:08:41,048 - [volume increases] - Guy, you can't quit. 195 00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:43,751 You don't belong in here, man. You belong out there. 196 00:08:43,852 --> 00:08:47,187 You're a natural born celebrity. 197 00:08:47,288 --> 00:08:48,721 [volume muted] 198 00:08:48,822 --> 00:08:50,322 Why are you doing this, Kenny? 199 00:08:50,424 --> 00:08:52,759 Because once upon a time, 200 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,327 a dear friend did the same exact thing for me. 201 00:08:55,429 --> 00:08:58,330 Gave me a shot when the rest of the world had counted me out. 202 00:08:58,432 --> 00:09:01,701 Seems only fair to return the favor. 203 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,769 OK, that was very cool, what you just said. 204 00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:06,638 I mean, I wasn't as down as you are now 205 00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:09,007 - when you found me. - [scoffs] You were pretty... 206 00:09:09,108 --> 00:09:11,877 - You were pretty fucking down. - Well, I wasn't bleeding from my shins 207 00:09:11,978 --> 00:09:15,981 nor did I have my own urine in Gatorade bottles. 208 00:09:16,082 --> 00:09:18,850 So I think you're doing worse than I was doing. 209 00:09:18,952 --> 00:09:21,351 Oh no. Johnny Appleseed is dying. 210 00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:27,124 He was loved by all, even the animals. 211 00:09:27,225 --> 00:09:30,126 Johnny Appleseed's dream was to plant enough seeds 212 00:09:30,227 --> 00:09:33,129 so no one would ever have to be hungry again. 213 00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:35,298 Kids got chops. It's not too bad. 214 00:09:35,399 --> 00:09:40,003 He'll always be remembered for what great things he did. 215 00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:43,206 [applause] 216 00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:46,341 [Kenny] Yeah. Yeah, boy. 217 00:09:46,442 --> 00:09:48,510 My son is main star of the play. 218 00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:51,146 His part is more important than all the other children. 219 00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,682 Woo! Good work! 220 00:09:53,783 --> 00:09:56,819 - Look at our little guy there, huh? - [April] I know. 221 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,154 - The tiniest pothead. - [laughing] 222 00:09:59,255 --> 00:10:01,175 I gotta say, this feels pretty goddamn good, huh? 223 00:10:01,257 --> 00:10:03,124 - Mm-hmm. - What do you say? 224 00:10:03,225 --> 00:10:06,027 Should we take the kids out for a little celebratory pizza party? 225 00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:08,262 Our family finally reunited again. 226 00:10:08,363 --> 00:10:12,333 It sounds so nice, but, um, I can't. 227 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,135 Are you on a diet or something? 228 00:10:14,236 --> 00:10:15,369 We can go get milkshakes if you want to. 229 00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:18,105 No, I can't. 230 00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:20,440 I've been thinking about this a lot. 231 00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,843 And, um, I gotta be honest with you. 232 00:10:22,944 --> 00:10:24,778 I'm scared you're gonna break my heart again. 233 00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:28,015 I love you so much. 234 00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:31,618 But we can't be together. 235 00:10:31,719 --> 00:10:35,521 - [sighs] - I'm moving to Santa Fe. 236 00:10:35,622 --> 00:10:38,658 Santa Fe? What the fuck. I mean, that's pretty far away. 237 00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:41,861 I know but I got a new job. 238 00:10:41,962 --> 00:10:45,631 I'm gonna be the new branch manager. 239 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,367 - Are you OK? - [exhaling] 240 00:10:48,468 --> 00:10:49,834 - You're breathing really heavy... - Yeah, no. I know. 241 00:10:49,935 --> 00:10:54,205 I'm just... practicing relaxation exercises. 242 00:10:54,306 --> 00:10:59,144 You know you can come visit anytime. 243 00:10:59,244 --> 00:11:05,050 You are so welcome to. 244 00:11:05,151 --> 00:11:07,432 [Kenny] In the end, Kenny Powers didn't get what he wanted, 245 00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:31,774 but he got what he needed. 246 00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,176 Here we are. 247 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,277 The pinnacle of success. 248 00:11:35,378 --> 00:11:38,646 Our journey ends here, Stevie. At the top. 249 00:11:38,748 --> 00:11:40,281 I couldn't have done it without you. 250 00:11:40,382 --> 00:11:42,851 I'm feeling good as hell about this, dog. 251 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,587 I feel like Lil Wayne with this sizzurp. 252 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:48,890 It's crazy. I always thought this moment would be joyous. 253 00:11:48,991 --> 00:11:51,693 But instead of wonder, I only feel isolation. 254 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,728 That's the pre-show jitters, dog. 255 00:11:53,829 --> 00:11:56,530 Them the butterflies. You got this, Kenny. 256 00:11:56,631 --> 00:11:59,800 [deep breath, exhales] 257 00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:01,535 [grunts softly] 258 00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:03,971 [Ronny] That's the sickest bastard in television. 259 00:12:04,072 --> 00:12:05,439 What's up with this kung fu? 260 00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:06,941 Just preparation, dog. 261 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:09,482 Listen, I wanna go over what you're gonna say today, all right? 262 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,310 I thought that I could just say whatever I wanted to. 263 00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:12,645 - Just riff. Speak from the heart. - Yeah. 264 00:12:12,747 --> 00:12:14,047 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just gonna tell you 265 00:12:14,148 --> 00:12:15,982 - what your heart is telling you to say. - OK. 266 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,317 When you get out and you see Guy Young, 267 00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:20,553 I want you to crush him, all right? 268 00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:23,356 I want you to break him like he's a teenage hymen. 269 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,924 That's not what we talked about, I didn't think it was that kind of a show. 270 00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:26,558 I thought this was like a feel good thing, like therapeutic, dude. 271 00:12:26,659 --> 00:12:28,093 - Like Ellen. - No, no, no. It's nothing like Ellen. 272 00:12:28,194 --> 00:12:30,528 Ellen's a lesbian. The idea of the show is humiliation. 273 00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:33,632 This is like reality TV. Who'd be a star, right? 274 00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:35,667 - Sure. - Indulge me, 275 00:12:35,769 --> 00:12:37,269 - for one moment. Please, Kenny. - Yeah, sure. 276 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:38,703 Thank you, Kenny. All right. 277 00:12:38,805 --> 00:12:41,039 Jerome, come over here. 278 00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:43,707 Jerome, you see that man in the blue shirt there? 279 00:12:43,809 --> 00:12:45,309 - [Jerome] Yeah. - Yeah? The fat one. 280 00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:47,211 I want you to go up there, get your fingers 281 00:12:47,312 --> 00:12:49,247 and I want you to ram 'em up his asshole. 282 00:12:49,347 --> 00:12:51,249 You wanna learn about television, yeah? 283 00:12:51,349 --> 00:12:54,518 Go and do that. Go on. 284 00:12:54,619 --> 00:13:00,657 Look at this, Kenny. 285 00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:03,393 - Hey! - Hey, hey. Don't shove him. 286 00:13:03,494 --> 00:13:07,998 - Bully. - [laughter] 287 00:13:08,099 --> 00:13:11,634 That's how you do it. 288 00:13:11,735 --> 00:13:14,403 Well? You see? They love me. 289 00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:16,172 Because I humiliated the fat man. 290 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,174 It's gonna be the same with the audience today. 291 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:21,510 That fat man tonight is Guy Young. 292 00:13:21,611 --> 00:13:26,282 I want you to look in that mirror now. 293 00:13:26,382 --> 00:13:27,749 Would you say, "I'm a bad man."? 294 00:13:27,851 --> 00:13:31,820 - Just... just to say it into the mirror? - Yeah. 295 00:13:31,921 --> 00:13:33,988 I'm a bad man. 296 00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:36,257 Say, "I'm a very bad man." 297 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,792 "I'm a very bad man." 298 00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,727 [laughs] You're a bad man. 299 00:13:39,829 --> 00:13:41,229 [Ronny, whispering] You are, Kenny. 300 00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:44,833 You see, once the audience see who you are, 301 00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:46,566 they will love you. 302 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:49,169 You go out and you kill Guy Young. 303 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,438 You kill him. All right? 304 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,973 Got it. 305 00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:57,010 Let's go. Come on. You had fun. You're having fun. 306 00:13:57,111 --> 00:13:58,378 Stevie, what do you think about that? 307 00:13:58,479 --> 00:14:00,914 [groans] 308 00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:04,884 Champion. Thank you so much for doing this. 309 00:14:04,985 --> 00:14:07,720 You're a good friend. And an even better man. 310 00:14:07,821 --> 00:14:09,455 No problem, Guy. 311 00:14:09,556 --> 00:14:10,923 I love you. 312 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,959 [mumbles] I love you too. 313 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,962 I'll see you out there, buddy. 314 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,496 [sighs] 315 00:14:17,597 --> 00:14:21,333 [Dixie] So, April, Santa Fe, how exciting is that? 316 00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:23,668 Just put your broken marriage behind you. 317 00:14:23,769 --> 00:14:26,838 - You know. Just do one of these. - In time. 318 00:14:26,939 --> 00:14:29,774 - You know, you should try online dating. - [TV chatter] 319 00:14:29,876 --> 00:14:32,143 - Dixie, I'm not ready to date. - Are you sure? 320 00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:35,112 - Positive. - Not getting any younger. 321 00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:36,881 You're just getting older. 322 00:14:36,982 --> 00:14:39,283 - Gene, please turn off the TV. - [sighs] 323 00:14:39,384 --> 00:14:41,818 OK? You can go one day without watching television. 324 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,888 No TV, how am I supposed to drown you out? 325 00:14:43,989 --> 00:14:45,956 - I'm sorry. What's that, honey? - Huh? 326 00:14:46,057 --> 00:14:48,792 - [audience cheering] - [man] And now it's time 327 00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,159 for the Powers Hour. 328 00:14:50,261 --> 00:15:01,670 [cheering and applause] 329 00:15:01,772 --> 00:15:03,572 Hello and how are you, America? 330 00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:05,474 Welcome to Powers Hour. 331 00:15:05,575 --> 00:15:08,143 I'm your host, Kenneth Powers, and I'm here today 332 00:15:08,244 --> 00:15:09,311 to give you straight talk. 333 00:15:09,412 --> 00:15:11,346 - [cheering] - Oh, oh. It's starting. 334 00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:14,049 Powers Hour will be unlike any other show on daytime talk. 335 00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:16,684 Because we're gonna give it to you real and we're gonna give it to you hard. 336 00:15:16,786 --> 00:15:19,454 Guys, we have coasters for a reason. 337 00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:21,315 That's right, you'll be getting it real hard. 338 00:15:21,391 --> 00:15:22,323 - Turn it off, Gene. - [Kenny] Charlotte. 339 00:15:22,424 --> 00:15:24,125 Come on, Dixie. We're watching this. 340 00:15:24,226 --> 00:15:27,395 No. We're not watching this. 'Cause I said to turn it off. 341 00:15:27,495 --> 00:15:29,363 OK? We wanna socialize. 342 00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:31,498 Gene, one, 343 00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:35,069 - two, two and a half... - Oh. You know what? 344 00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,338 You want the remote? You want it? 345 00:15:37,439 --> 00:15:38,638 I'm gonna stick it up my ass, all right? 346 00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:41,174 And then you can come up there and dig it out yourself. 347 00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,209 Well, guess what, genius, look. 348 00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:45,045 Now you're not watching Kenny, OK? 349 00:15:45,146 --> 00:15:47,880 Oh yeah, well I'll just turn it on by squeezing my fucking ass cheeks. 350 00:15:47,982 --> 00:15:52,052 Now piss off, Dixie! Goddamn it! 351 00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:55,254 - We'll talk later. - [Gene, mocking] Oh, "we'll talk later." 352 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,523 You will anyway and I'll just zone out and act like I give a shit. 353 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,926 Now sit on it. Idiot. 354 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:03,528 [cheering and applause] 355 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,166 Now today's show is all about second chances. 356 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:11,302 Later on in the episode we have the results of some exciting paternity tests 357 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:14,138 which are gonna give some young men a second chance at responsibility. 358 00:16:14,239 --> 00:16:15,606 This is gonna be a big hit. 359 00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:19,010 Now folks, I'd like to introduce a very special guest. 360 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:22,546 Now this man at one point was loved and admired by all. 361 00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:25,516 - But now he's universally hated. - [Stevie laughs] 362 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:28,452 Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together 363 00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:32,755 - for Guy Young. - [booing] 364 00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:33,790 Eat a dick. 365 00:16:33,891 --> 00:16:42,164 [booing continues] 366 00:16:42,265 --> 00:16:45,234 How does it feel to hear people booing you like that? 367 00:16:45,335 --> 00:16:48,437 - It's hard. - These people look at you 368 00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:49,938 and they think very negative of you. 369 00:16:49,973 --> 00:16:51,874 - Yeah. - They don't like you. 370 00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:54,276 - Yeah, I get that. - Because of the things you said. 371 00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:56,045 - Yes. - That's why you're here today, 372 00:16:56,146 --> 00:16:57,746 you want to apologize for what you said. 373 00:16:57,847 --> 00:16:59,780 Thank goodness your show exists, because, um... 374 00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:01,116 [Kenny] Well, Guy, guess what? 375 00:17:01,217 --> 00:17:03,418 That's not gonna happen. 376 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:05,953 You just walked into an ambush, old friend. 377 00:17:06,055 --> 00:17:08,356 - Boom! - [cheering] 378 00:17:08,457 --> 00:17:10,937 Because people here don't give a shit about second chances, no. 379 00:17:10,993 --> 00:17:14,594 What they'd rather see, you humiliated on national television. 380 00:17:14,695 --> 00:17:30,476 [cheering] 381 00:17:30,577 --> 00:17:35,581 But that's not what I want. 382 00:17:35,682 --> 00:17:38,084 - And I say fuck what these people want. - What? 383 00:17:38,185 --> 00:17:41,487 [Kenny] I made a lot of mistakes on my return to superstardom. 384 00:17:41,588 --> 00:17:43,756 - Kenny... - I screwed a lot of pooches. 385 00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:45,824 I fucked a lot of folks. 386 00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:49,027 I labored for far too long for lesser men. 387 00:17:49,128 --> 00:17:50,195 [scoffs] 388 00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:52,130 I used my god given abilities 389 00:17:52,231 --> 00:17:56,168 to destroy men's lives. 390 00:17:56,269 --> 00:17:57,735 I betrayed good people. 391 00:17:57,836 --> 00:18:01,206 I ruthlessly stepped upon the week and the strong. 392 00:18:01,307 --> 00:18:04,375 I turned them into my slaves. 393 00:18:04,476 --> 00:18:07,844 - Come on... - Even the fiercest of warriors 394 00:18:07,946 --> 00:18:09,613 is nothing to me. 395 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,348 Powerless. 396 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,784 I was absolutely terrible to everybody in my fucking life, 397 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,352 including everyone I worked with. 398 00:18:15,454 --> 00:18:17,955 Everyone I lived with, my friends, my family. 399 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,523 I was horrendous. 400 00:18:20,624 --> 00:18:22,992 And why did I do these [bleep] things you ask? 401 00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:25,795 Well, it's simple, really. 402 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,531 I thought that fame, fortune and success 403 00:18:28,632 --> 00:18:30,467 was the only way I would ever be happy. 404 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:34,703 And I've paid a steep price for this train of thinking. 405 00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:38,073 I've lost the only woman I ever loved. 406 00:18:38,174 --> 00:18:42,578 And the only woman who ever loved me. 407 00:18:42,678 --> 00:18:44,746 So from this moment forward, 408 00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:47,816 the vicious dragon that was Kenny Powers 409 00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:50,184 will retreat back to his cave. 410 00:18:50,285 --> 00:18:52,920 Back to hibernation. 411 00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:58,659 Until the next foolish knight awakens his wrath. 412 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,497 - [Guy] When... When do I get to make my apology? - Hmm? 413 00:19:02,598 --> 00:19:07,967 Do... do I get to make my apology now? 414 00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:11,471 Yep. It's all yours, buddy. 415 00:19:11,572 --> 00:19:13,873 [mic feedback] 416 00:19:13,974 --> 00:19:20,046 Fucking duck's clit! 417 00:19:20,148 --> 00:19:23,749 [Guy] First off, let me say, I love black people. 418 00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:26,018 Grab all the personal effects, Stevie. 419 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:27,886 All the personal accoutrements, please. 420 00:19:27,987 --> 00:19:31,722 - Shane, go there. - Kenny Powers, I'm fucking annoyed with you, 421 00:19:31,823 --> 00:19:33,057 you pair of hedgehog tits! 422 00:19:33,159 --> 00:19:36,594 You upset a little kid who's very, very sick with herpes. 423 00:19:36,695 --> 00:19:39,930 He was expecting to see some American badass, 424 00:19:40,032 --> 00:19:43,234 not some nancy boy... [grunts] 425 00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:45,836 - How's that for a badass? - Oooh! 426 00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:49,739 World Star! World Star! 427 00:19:49,840 --> 00:20:00,750 Fuck you! 428 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:07,089 - [engine shuts off] - [sets emergency brake] 429 00:20:07,191 --> 00:20:09,124 - Hey, little dudes. - Hey, Daddy. 430 00:20:09,226 --> 00:20:11,527 - Hey, Daddy. - Look who's mastered the beast, huh? 431 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,963 [chuckles] Looks like you guys are gonna be moving out west. 432 00:20:15,065 --> 00:20:18,366 Those kids from the rez, they're not gonna like you. 433 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,835 Many moons ago the white man stole their land, 434 00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:22,737 so they're instantly gonna have a hatred for you. 435 00:20:22,838 --> 00:20:26,374 As long as you keep Dakota by your side and never show 'em an ounce of fear, 436 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,310 one day, you can gain their respect. 437 00:20:28,411 --> 00:20:30,078 [both] OK, Daddy. 438 00:20:30,179 --> 00:20:33,648 I hope to get out to see you there sometime, you guys. 439 00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:36,317 You know, Southwest airlines has a hub in Albuquerque. 440 00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:39,186 There's no first class on that airline, obviously, 441 00:20:39,287 --> 00:20:42,489 but they do have that business select option. 442 00:20:42,591 --> 00:20:46,327 You get the... coupons for the premium drinks 443 00:20:46,428 --> 00:20:49,630 and the priority access, be the first on the plane. 444 00:20:49,731 --> 00:20:56,402 Even offer the double rapid reward points for your miles there. 445 00:20:56,503 --> 00:20:59,105 Hopefully I'll stack up a bunch of those... 446 00:20:59,206 --> 00:21:04,477 ...from all the times I'll come out there and visit. 447 00:21:04,578 --> 00:21:06,145 I'm gonna miss you guys. 448 00:21:06,246 --> 00:21:09,013 I'm gonna miss you too. 449 00:21:09,115 --> 00:21:11,015 Bring it in here. 450 00:21:11,117 --> 00:21:13,218 [sighs] Love you guys. 451 00:21:13,319 --> 00:21:35,839 [both] Love you too. 452 00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:38,841 - Oh. Hey. - Hey. 453 00:21:38,942 --> 00:21:42,178 Surprised to see you're taking so much of that 454 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,013 traditional modern shit we had. 455 00:21:44,114 --> 00:21:47,717 Seems like it might kinda clash with the Spanish style they rock there in Santa Fe. 456 00:21:47,818 --> 00:21:51,421 - Mmm. - Might wanna think about getting some Navajo rugs 457 00:21:51,522 --> 00:21:53,456 or some ristras... 458 00:21:53,557 --> 00:21:57,259 Kokopellis, the little skinny dudes with the trumpets. 459 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,496 I guess we'll see once we get there. 460 00:22:00,597 --> 00:22:02,130 Yeah. 461 00:22:02,231 --> 00:22:05,334 This is it. The paper's are signed. 462 00:22:05,435 --> 00:22:08,937 You and I are officially divorced. 463 00:22:09,038 --> 00:22:13,174 [April] Thank you. 464 00:22:13,275 --> 00:22:14,609 What are you gonna do now? 465 00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:18,846 I don't know. Stevie and I have been cooking up a few things. 466 00:22:18,947 --> 00:22:20,788 Now that I'm done with the television industry, 467 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:24,118 it might be high time to finally step into the feature film world. 468 00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:27,120 - [April] Mm. - At least with movies it's not all about the money. 469 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:32,025 Well, I know you will succeed at anything you try. 470 00:22:32,126 --> 00:22:34,795 Hmm. Yeah, well... [chuckles] 471 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,964 We'll see. 472 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:41,301 Goodbye, April. 473 00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:45,404 - Goodbye, Kenny. - [sighs] 474 00:22:45,505 --> 00:22:47,973 You know, April, 475 00:22:48,074 --> 00:22:51,276 when I told you that I wasn't happy with you and the kids, 476 00:22:51,378 --> 00:22:54,380 that wasn't true. 477 00:22:54,481 --> 00:22:57,450 I was never unhappy with you guys. 478 00:22:57,551 --> 00:22:59,784 I was unhappy with myself. 479 00:22:59,885 --> 00:23:02,454 I just wanted to be a success. 480 00:23:02,555 --> 00:23:06,324 It turns out I was a success the whole entire time. 481 00:23:06,425 --> 00:23:11,463 As a father, a husband. 482 00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,638 A pretty goddamn good one at that. 483 00:23:16,668 --> 00:23:19,970 I just thought you should know. 484 00:23:20,071 --> 00:23:22,239 - [April] Kenny, stop. - No, April, it's fine... 485 00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:25,041 Oh. Just stop. 486 00:23:35,486 --> 00:23:40,623 [Kenny] If you ask me, the secret to success is to have a diverse portfolio. 487 00:23:40,724 --> 00:23:45,127 Too much of any one thing is fucking no bueno. 488 00:23:45,228 --> 00:23:47,729 - [inaudible] - Of course, sometimes, balancing can be hard. 489 00:23:47,830 --> 00:23:50,365 But all things worth having are worth fighting for. 490 00:23:50,466 --> 00:23:52,434 Kids, I can throw the ball faster than fuck 491 00:23:52,535 --> 00:23:55,103 and now I'm the most popular teacher in this school. 492 00:23:55,204 --> 00:23:56,738 Cutler, you're fucking out. 493 00:23:56,839 --> 00:23:58,673 Big cans, bring me them titties. 494 00:23:58,775 --> 00:24:02,143 My life is ruined. 495 00:24:02,244 --> 00:24:05,078 [Kenny] Sometimes hard work pays off. 496 00:24:05,179 --> 00:24:06,747 Yay, Kenny. 497 00:24:06,848 --> 00:24:07,882 [Kenny] And, cut! 498 00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:09,950 - Pretty powerful. - Perfect. 499 00:24:10,051 --> 00:24:12,152 Check the fucking gate. 500 00:24:12,253 --> 00:24:14,555 - That's you, son. You did it. - That's me, Daddy. 501 00:24:14,656 --> 00:24:16,724 - Whoa. - I did it. I love you so much. 502 00:24:16,825 --> 00:24:18,425 You're great too, yeah. 503 00:24:18,526 --> 00:24:19,793 [Kenny] If a man doesn't have a dream... 504 00:24:19,894 --> 00:24:21,193 [camera clicks] 505 00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:24,597 ...well, guess what, his soul begins to die. 506 00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,833 So after you've accomplished your dreams, 507 00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:29,807 the best thing to do is to come up with new dreams. 508 00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:35,173 That way, as the years roll on, 509 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:37,609 as they will do, 510 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,888 you'll always look to the future with hope. 511 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:47,531 But of course the future's sure to hold it's fair share of miseries. 512 00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:53,858 [gunshot] 513 00:24:53,959 --> 00:24:55,593 [gunshots] 514 00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:59,096 [gunshot] 515 00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:01,031 [gasps] No. 516 00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:08,705 [somber music plays] 517 00:25:08,806 --> 00:25:11,842 [inaudible] 518 00:25:11,943 --> 00:25:15,278 [thunder rolls] 519 00:25:15,379 --> 00:25:18,988 All kinds of shitty sorrows. 520 00:25:48,143 --> 00:25:50,277 I find solace in the fact that from each sorrow 521 00:25:50,379 --> 00:25:52,686 comes a little bit of knowledge. 522 00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:08,328 [mechanical whirring] 523 00:26:08,429 --> 00:26:10,835 And with knowledge comes wisdom. 524 00:26:13,901 --> 00:26:16,268 [clicking tongue] 525 00:26:16,369 --> 00:26:30,682 [chattering] 526 00:26:30,783 --> 00:26:39,457 [speaking foreign language] 527 00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:41,125 [speaks foreign language] 528 00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:43,293 - [Kenny] If you're lucky... - [repeats foreign language] 529 00:26:43,394 --> 00:26:45,262 ...you get a second act in life. 530 00:26:45,363 --> 00:26:59,508 [cheering] 531 00:26:59,610 --> 00:27:02,957 - Come on, Daddy. - Come on, Daddy. 532 00:27:15,491 --> 00:27:17,258 [Kenny] But sooner or later, 533 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,027 death will come. 534 00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:24,216 Unannounced, Old Man Reaper comes to reclaim your soul. 535 00:27:30,706 --> 00:27:33,173 All you can hope for is that the people you love 536 00:27:33,274 --> 00:27:35,231 will cherish the time they spent with you. 537 00:27:38,780 --> 00:27:43,618 In the end, you judge a man by how he influenced the world. 538 00:27:43,719 --> 00:27:46,170 You judge him by the seeds he left behind. 539 00:27:53,261 --> 00:27:56,425 And you judge his seeds by the harvest. 540 00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:18,083 But Kenny Powers' harvest remains unknown, 541 00:28:18,184 --> 00:28:21,330 but I'm pretty goddamn proud of my seeds. 542 00:28:26,692 --> 00:28:28,660 The end. 543 00:28:28,761 --> 00:28:30,461 Cut to black. 544 00:28:30,562 --> 00:28:35,632 Audience goes fucking ape shit. 545 00:28:42,974 --> 00:28:44,775 It's perfect. 546 00:28:44,876 --> 00:28:48,845 Hmph. 547 00:28:48,946 --> 00:28:51,180 - Are you done yet? - Hmm? 548 00:28:51,281 --> 00:28:54,616 You have been in here for hours. 549 00:28:54,718 --> 00:28:58,083 Yep. I'm finished. 550 00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:12,263